Yeah, Motivation and my fears. About posting on Blogs.

As I think it is very veyr obvious. I do NOT have a blog to keep a log of my daily life. Maybe I'll do that when I have an Iphone. With spamming internet. When that days comes. If not I can just resume my current posting style.

Well you see. I get very VERY VERY bored easily. I know that about me. And its something about me that I both like and Don't like.

OMG, how did I end up talking about blogging. Arh WHo cares. Abit wun harm.

Ok. Boredom. Nya's biggest Enemy. Not biggest, but one of the big ones. I guess.

I don't know. Esp when I am Alone. I sometimes actually freak out. Unless I am in my own house. Which I also have problems with. End up will want to go out unless I am doing costumes.

Sometimes even with my Mom, or Sis or Even my so called Long-time friend, I don't feel comfortable at all. Not say I don't enjoy my time. but because of some comments they made previously, I dare not express myself naturally. You know the stress. When U cannot say something because someone is there. and its not official. Its just your true feelings. But I think fear. Just stops me. Its painful. But I don't dare. I don't. I feel so scared. Is it the trust I have with them is too strong or too weak?

Strong because I know they will react horribly to my actions. Or Strong because I trust them. Or Weak because of the same two reasons. Its a joke right.

What is trust.

Is it just me or US. When it comes to trust.

Thats why I blog. I blog because I am lost. I want people to maybe read me. I want to say out the crap in me. I just want to release it. Then again. I fear these people may read my blog. But I don't like a private blog sometimes. Esp for some posts.

I am thinking of reviving and maintaining my private blog. Because I think I feel safer there. Maybe U know. Less sensative stuff on this blog. Sensative keep it private.

Well, I just live life as it sucks. Sigh.