Ok. beside the fact that I have been severely procrastinating my Editing for my project and Finishing alot of costume, alot has been on my mind. Also the reason why I continuously try to distract myself.

To be honest, sometimes I am seriously not comfortable wif guys acting up all crazy around. Being the only one who thinks wif brains most of the time. The clean up and all is a serious mess. Also, sometimes I realli cannot stand it when their topics all get dirty and is stuck there. For no apparent reason.

Some things I seriously dun understand is how can guys be so stupid just for girls. Like no GF can die one. I still dun understand this point. -.-

Also, I personally feel very often, very constricted. Like I cannot be myself. Even if it was a short while. Just a few hours earlier I felt realli great cuz I was like expressing myself out. Apparently I drank some alchohol. Ya and I acted all bitchy and hime wif the guys all around me. =3=

Now, all the guys go sleep liao, then I am here waiting for 8am to wake them up. >.<

Is it realli the girls job to keep the guys on track?

Also I dun understand why guys see pink = dun wan. -.- Pink is so cute, must color discriminate until like that meh?

Ah, another problem I have been having. I have this friend of mine. Obviously straight. Anyways, he has always been helping me wif my projects. Been there for me very often. Often we work and think on the same frequency. Minus our sexual preferences. sigh.

Anyways, I many of my friends dun like this guy. So everytime I ask him out. I nid to make sure those ppl who hate him are not around etc. But then again, I feel so restricted. And not like I can just abandon this friend of mine.

To make this worse. Recently I been developing abit of feelings for him. Trying to shove it aside but it still lingers here and there. Its disturbing and suffucating sometimes. I know obviously our relationship will fail. Given the personality he has.

In addition parents, and I can't bare to lose my friends. The sacrifice is too great I guess. Maybe he is not the right one.

Sometimes love is such a painful thing. One of my crushes. I hate him. In a way I guess. But sometimes his words can really mess up my thinking. A 'please' or seeing him in trouble automatically makes my emotions and all act up. I just can't leave him alone. Or ignore him. Its like he still has a place somewhere in my heart. An empty hole. >.<

sometimes ppl say family love is very important, however, I feel that honestly sometimes when your family is against you or having disputes, it becomes more of a pain and burden then help. Esp when ppl in your family is all stubborn sigh. Srsly life sux. T-T

WHy must life be so painful. >.<